Monday, November 19, 2007

Letters to Editor (HELP!)


I am involved in a situation where my father has been financially abused by my two brothers and my mother. I have known about it for over a year and have done everything I can think of to help him and cannot get anywhere. I have talked to uncountable people including elder abuse departments, lawyers, and law enforcement officers. It seems the laws protect the abusers, and not the abused. And they make it easy for the abusers to prevent their victims from being helped by advocates such as myself.

My Dad finally has been appointed an attorney through a conservatorship issue within the family. And HIS lawyer consults with my MOTHER! who is one of the the abusers!!

My Dad lives in Montana. He is 91 years old, legally blind but very mentally very sharp. But he is totally unaware of the situation and has no clue that he should even ask for help because he is being protected from any awareness by the abusers.

I would appreciate any help or advice you have for me.




Thank you for writing in to E.A. It really breaks my heart that this sort of thing happens from the flatlands of Florida to the Hills of Montana. We have also talked to uncountable people and have spent uncountable sleepless night writing to anyone that could or would help all to no avail and only to come to the same conclusion that you already have.

Elder Abuse laws protect the abusers and make it very costly and degrading for the victims, a lot of times elder abuse cases are routinely labeled ¨Civilly¨ matters by the authorities, laying the groundwork for endless court battles and the posibility of the elder victim losing all their rights by the court appointing a guardian by laws that are sometimes selectively and loosely enforced.

I am not an attorney and can not give you any legal advise, only personal based on my experience and that of our readers like you who write to us about the indifference of the people who could/would help in cases such as yours.

Try to document everything that is happening to your father, every which way you can! Try to get your father to a psychiatrist that can document his state of mind,thoughts and feelings.

The people who are abusing your father know how to take advantage of the situation, you might need to insist on having an attorney who understands the issue and will fight for your father´s rights, furthermore educate yourself on Elder Abuse and the tactics used, as most elder abuse happens under the veil of family matters which often gives the abusers exemption from elder abuse laws and a false sense of legitimacy.

The abusers are often masters of confusion and at creating a veil of confusion in their quest to conquer and divide, often they will paint the person trying to protect the elder as the bad guy, this is very delicate situation that is extremely difficult to deal with.

Also your mother might not realize that she is being manipulated against your father, and keep in mind that Fraud and undue influence may be opposites in that with undue influence, the testator is compelled through fear and intimidation to act in ways which might be repudiated if the person were of a free and unconstrained mind while, on the other hand, the testator, misled by fraud,will often do so with pleasure and satisfaction.

Unless you give me permission to post your E mail address I will keep your name and E mail address confidential and any one that wishes to contact you may do so my writing to me and I will foward to you.

Suggested Reading:

Wills, Testamentary Capacity, and Undue Influence by IRWIN N. PERR, MD, JD

Steal an Estate

Narcissists as Slanders

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