Friday, December 14, 2007

National Association To Stop Guardian Abuse


Anonymous said...

Thanks for your insight on this very serious matter. I and my family fear we may be dealing with a guardian that is not handling the financial affairs of my father with my fathers best interest in mind, and I will be checking this blog often as this is all new to us. Elder abuse is a horrible thing and I hope something is done about it soon! I will keep E.A. posted about my father and his guardian as soon as we figure out what his guardian is actually doing with dads income.
Thank you! Andrea, Boca Raton, Fl.

Anonymous said...


Imagine, your 81 year old mother with Alzheimer's disease is denied contact with four of her five daughters.

As Baby Boomers face middle age, their parents are living longer, often well into their 80’s and 90’s. As a result, it is becoming increasingly common to see one son or daughter – who fears losing out on his or her due inheritance – take over the parents’ estate and persuade them to change their will.

A potentially heartbreaking consequence of this is the isolation of ailing parents. The sibling in control begins to cut off contact between the parents and others to protect his or her “inheritance” from the rest of the family. When one or both parents have Alzheimer's and can no longer speak for themselves, they are particularly vulnerable to this kind of exploitation.


Imagine that you walk into your childhood home one day, and all of the family photos that have decorated the walls for years have been removed – all but those of one sibling.

Imagine that your 80-plus-year-old parents change their will, sign over their home to the one sibling whose photos are still on the wall, and that you are no longer welcome on the property.

Imagine that you try to call your parents, and their telephone number of 40 years is changed and unlisted. The special phones you had installed for your Alzheimer-stricken mother – so that she could easily call you – have been removed from the home.

Imagine that your 83-year-old father, with whom you had always treated with patience and generosity, suddenly turns against you and thinks that everyone has done him wrong – everyone except for the one sibling who has taken his estate and his dignity.

Imagine that you call well-respected agencies for help and report the undue influence and isolation that has taken place. You are told that New York State law does not consider being deprived of “a few choice family members” as “isolation,” even though the isolation extends to four daughters, a sister, grandchildren and friends.

And, although these experts acknowledge that the one sibling who created the havoc is acting out of “vengeance” and that the “welfare of your parents is secondary to her need for control,” they don't support you. The ones suffering the most are your ailing parents. There are no laws to help your elderly confused mother; no
laws to stop a family member from cruel and ruthless alienation.

Imagine that your parents are being deprived of your help and companionship in their final few years, and that the little time left for you to be with them is being taken away from you.

Imagine that your 81-year-old mother, whose memories are few and far in between, is not allowed to see four of her five daughters. Imagine that.

This happened to our family within an eight-month period and it could happen to you. Like you, my three sisters and I would never have been able to imagine this...but now we are living it.

So is our poor mother. And, although she may not realize exactly what is happening to her, research shows that she certainly can feel the absence of loved ones in her life.

There are no laws in New York State that allow and ensure adult children the right to see their ailing parents if one sibling in control decides to isolate them.

New York State laws need to be changed now. For those who live there, please forward this to the editorial section of your newspaper, to your political representatives, and to anyone else you think may be interested or can help.

Please act now. Precious time is running out for our sweet mother.

Thank you,

Renee Sotile